Arts & Humanities » Books & Authors » How to write a sexy dance scene?

How to write a sexy dance scene?

I need to write a sexy dance scene with a bit of a scary atmosphere. Basically, a girl is dancing alone at a club and she feels as if two guys are slightly creepy cause they get closer too her (too close) and don't take heir eyes off her. They seem as though they want something . This is as far as I've gotten:

I still joined Avery and Jake who were already almost, making out. I separated myself from them in fear of becoming the third wheel. I swayed my hips to the beat, feeling the music electrocute through me as I embraced my singularity on the dance floor. I must have attracted the attention of a couple of guys advancing towards me yet trying to dance at the same time.

They had the same colour of hair - dirty blonde - and dark brown eyes. They grinned at me and almost winked simultaneously. I felt uneasy at their demanding expressions as they got closer and closer, staring straight at me. My heart increased as I noticed their dark clothes didn't seem to fit the fun club atmosphere. Their eyes hinted a sense of urgency and demand.

I know it's not good so can i just get some constructive criticism as I continue writing? I feel like it's missing something, not sure what.

Your protagonist is in a public place - a club - where she finds herself targetted by two men. This is obviously a problem, however they're dressed and however they look - one strange man might want to dance with her, buy her a drink, get to know her - that's what people have come to the place for, but two is a legitimate concern. Why doesn't she stop dancing and appeal to her friends (they might be wrapped up in each other, but this is a bit of an emergency), or speak to the barman and ask him to call the club's security (they will surely have a bouncer) - or take any sensible evasive action rather than just standing there.

How about "A primal fear raced through my veins and gave my heart a nervous twitch. I wanted to move away, to flinch, to run... But I did none of these things; I merely stood, frozen, as they planted themselves squarely in my personal space."

As for constructive criticism, I think that "already almost, making out" could lose its comma. Maybe you could phrase it as "nearly to the point of making out already," if it looks too weird sans a comma. Your word choice with "electrocute" and "singularity" struck me as odd and off-putting, but I can form no real, logical objection to them. Maybe your readers will take it as a part of your style? Nevertheless, consider "feeling the music's electric energy pulsing through me" and "individuality" as alternate phrasings, if you wish. You use "almost" twice in this passage; I bring this up because repeating words too frequently is something that people try to avoid in their writing. I hope you got something out of this! I hope that it helped.