Social Science » Psychology » What does passive aggressive behavior mean?

What does passive aggressive behavior mean?

I read the definition....but it sounds confusing? I don't get it.

Things calculated to get on your nerves, like saying little or nothing to you when you give the person a nice gift.

People with passive aggressive behavior seem to always "forgot" something important. They don't really show anger. They blame others and play innocent. They repeatedly fail to do something they are asked to do.

My dad is just like this, they are jerks.

Hope this helped.

They have excessive anger one end of the aggressive pole

and on the other hand low self esteem on the other.

When something annoys them often they dismiss their

own feelings and rights, brush it off and say nothing.

Or Lose their temper and have a Temper Tantrum.

Why because with low self esteem they deem them self

unworthy of respect.

They have low self esteem because they don't know how to

Assert them self, when they do learn how to, by using respect,

and based on equal rights, their confidence skyrockets.

Best Wishes.

Mars Mission.

It happens when a person doesn't have the confidence or the knowledge of how to express how they really feel about a situation that angers or frustrates them. So they take a shot at you in a good/bad way. They say things like, "You're so pretty for a big girl," or "I love you. I'd love you more if you didn't drink." It catches a person off-guard because it starts out like a compliment but has a painful twist to it.

Common Passive Aggressive Behaviors:


•Ambiguity: I think of the proverb, "Actions speak louder than words" when it comes to the passive aggressive and how ambiguous they can be. They rarely mean what they say or say what they mean. The best judge of how a passive aggressive feels about an issue is how they act. Normally they don't act until after they've caused some kind of stress by their ambiguous way of communicating.

•Forgetfulness: The passive aggressive avoids responsibility by "forgetting." How convenient is that? There is no easier way to punish someone than forgetting that lunch date or your birthday or, better yet, an anniversary.

•Blaming: They are never responsible for their actions. If you aren't to blame then it is something that happened at work, the traffic on the way home or the slow clerk at the convenience store. The passive aggressive has no faults, it is everyone around him/her who has faults and they must be punished for those faults.


•Lack of Anger: He/she may never express anger. There are some who are happy with whatever you want. On the outside anyway! The passive aggressive may have been taught, as a child, that anger is unacceptable. Hence they go through life stuffing their anger, being accommodating and then sticking it to you in an under-handed way.


•Fear of Dependency: From Scott Wetlzer, author of Living With The Passive Aggressive Man. "Unsure of his autonomy and afraid of being alone, he fights his dependency needs, usually by trying to control you. He wants you to think he doesn't depend on you, but he binds himself closer than he cares to admit. Relationships can become battle grounds, where he can only claim victory if he denies his need for your support."


•Fear of Intimacy: The passive aggressive often can't trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone. A passive aggressive will have sex with you but they rarely make love to you. If they feel themselves becoming attached, they may punish you by withholding sex.


•Obstructionism: Do you want something from your passive aggressive spouse? If so, get ready to wait for it or maybe even never get it. It is important to him/her that you don,t get your way. He/she will act as if giving you what you want is important to them but, rarely will he/she follow through with giving it. It is very confusing to have someone appear to want to give to you but never follow through. You can begin to feel as if you are asking too much which is exactly what he/she wants to you to feel.


•Victimization: The passive aggressive feels they are treated unfairly. If you get upset because he or she is constantly late, they take offense because; in their mind, it was someone else's fault that they were late. He/she is always the innocent victim of your unreasonable expectations, an over-bearing boss or that slow clerk at the convenience store.


•Procrastination: The passive aggressive person believes that deadlines are for everyone but them. They do things on their own time schedule and be damned anyone who expects differently from them.