Most abusers will re offend.
If you are the victim, get out now while you can.
Is domestic violence only one time or is it if you do it once you are going to do it again? What provokes the batterer? Lifestyle, financial status, depression etcc....
- I Believe Once it happens it happens again. Anything from Depression, Low Self Esteem, and Alcohol Can Provoke the Batterer.20
- Usually a batterer has exhibited this behavior throughout their life. A batterer believes that something "provoked" them for sure, but that's what they use to excuse their foul behavior. There is never a good reason to physically violate another individual. There is no excuse for it that makes the act go away, or makes it okay. Most of us have problems. Whether it's depression, or finances, or lifestyle, most of us can choose another way to address our problem that doesn't require us to beat a spouse, or a child.
The ex-law enforcement guy is right. If you're a victim, get out.
- Once the violater finds they can get away with it, it will happen again. Low self esteem is one reason to be a "batterer". It gives them a power that they can find nowhere else.20
- It only takes one time for domestic violence to happen. Generally, if it happens once it will happen again unless the abusive partner goes to get some type of treatment for anger management, alcoholism, etc. Lifestyle, financial status and depression could all lead to domestic violence. Learn how to walk away or leave whenever a situation gets out of hand and give it a cool down period before going back, even then it could accelerate. Make sure you take care of #1, yourself, before re-entering the relationship. If you have children, think of them as well.10
- Domestic Violence is about control and entitlement. It is NOT about alcohol, depression, child abuse, provocation, or any of the myriad of events that a batterer will claim for justification. Anger management is NOT effective in controlling a batterer. Taking his control away is the only effective way to stop a batterer. Even the batterer counseling available to abusers is not effective. Men who complete these classes have a recidivism rate worse than those who are addicted to heroin. Batterers do not feel that their victims are people. You will see all types of people who are batterers. Rich, poor, minority, alcoholics, teetotallers, drug addicts, law enforcement, doctors, lawyers, construction workers. There is no one single "type" of man who is a batterer. And yes once there is an incident of dv, especially if there is no accountability towards the batterer, they will re-offend and often the next time is worse. Just read about all the men killing their children because a woman had the audacity to speak up about the abuse. As long as it is hidden (America's dirty little secret), it will continue unchecked.10
- Did your parents help in the aftermath of Domestic Violence? In many cases, I believe the parents help pick up the pieces. I am conducting research to explore the help provided by parents when faced with their adult child's experience with domestic violence.
Please encourage your parents to take a 20 minute survey at http://www.takesurveynow.2truth.com01
- Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, reach out. There is help available.00
- Domestic Violence is often about control. The batterer may be insecure, drunk, high, angry or mentally ill. But the main reason seems his (or her) desire to exercise control over the other person. Control can take the form of physical assault, sexual assault, threatening, property damage (punching the hole in the wall, smashing the telephone), false imprisonment, breaking and entering into the other person's privacy, etc. It is not a question whether the batterer is provoked. That question assumes that the other person is somehow responsible. True domestic violence is not an abberation. It is constant so that the abuser will offend any time he (or she) senses a loss of control. There are some excellent counseling programs available for people who may be perpetrators of domestic violence. Often the whole scenerio can be categorized in the form of a cycle that repeats itself. The abuse is followed by remorse, foregiveness, peace, then more abuse. The cycle needs to be stopped. Effective counseling is a good way to go.30
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